Adoption ~ Rayf is 3 months!!!
09 Oct 2011 Leave a Comment
I can’t believe this week Rayf celebrated 3 months of life, and 3 months with our family. Oh how I wish you who haven’t met him could. He is simply the sweetest baby I’ve ever met. Now… I wouldn’t have said that a month ago (only kidding)… he was really working some things out if you know what I mean. But the morning of his 8 week check up he screamed his last SCREAM so to speak. That’s not to say he doesn’t cry cause he does… but I’m talking about that ear piercing NEVER ENDING SCREAM those little babies can do. He was a PRO! All that to say he cried his last scream… we went to the Dr. that morning weighed him and he had DOUBLED PLUS his birth weight. That’s right he was 15 pounds at 8 weeks. HOLY MOLY I thought! Seeing as how Reegan was 17 pounds at 1 YEAR… you can imagine why I was so surprised and a bit confused. The Dr. said he looked super healthy and vibrant. We went home that afternoon and he was ALL smiles and giggles. It was a side of him I had only a hand full of times seen. It was BLISS!!!!
He’s an amazing kid. There is such a story behind his eyes. One of those “old soul” kind of kids. His eyes are so expressive. So kind. So sweet. His little smile that show all his gums… I simply melt. He LOVES his voice and finding new sounds. But most of all… he LOVES his momma.. and I couldn’t be happier with that. He simply adores our cuddle time and I must admit I look forward to it EVERY day.
Reegan is doing soooo wonderfully with him. She absolutely ADORES being a big sister. She cares for him just like a momma, and is ever so helpful. If he cries she is at his side reassuring him that I’m coming. It still melts my heart each and every time.
I have learned so much about being a mom in these past few months it scares me. 
Who knew I knew SOOOOO little? haha… but it’s true. I thought I “knew” so much. I thought I “knew” I would grow to love him as my own. I thought I “knew” he would love me immediately. Well… I “knew” nothing. I NEVER knew what loving him would feel like. I never thought he would have to adjust to ME… or me to HIM. But we have. We made it. And I for one am smitten. COMPLETELY head over heels for him, and if I do say so myself… he’s pretty smitten with me too.
Devon and Reegan didn’t struggle with this as much as I did. In fact I think they immediately felt connected. For me… it was a bit different. I think for the first month I feared the worst. I thought his birth mom may still come back. So I never fully let myself open up to him the way I did with Reegan. Then in month two I was so tired and sleep deprived I thought I was going crazy from all that crying. But then I would see that smile… he would nuzzle into my chest… cry until I held him and patted his bottom…. it was the little things. Slowly I was melting. Each day it felt more and more real. Each day I felt myself let go just a little bit more. Each day my heart ached for him and whatever was causing him such discomfort. Then the crying stopped and smiles started. I saw HIM… he saw me… and we have never been the same.
Today we met with the social worker for our 3 month check up. Basically she just asked us how we were doing and watched us with him… pretty easy. She said we will meet again in 3 months for his 6 month post placement meeting… then we have our final court date where he becomes OFFICIALLY and ONCE and FOR ALL OURS!!!! He gets a new birth certificate and social security card. YAY!!!!! I can’t wait for this… although I don’t want to rush him growing up.
We are so thankful for all your words of encouragement, support and prayers through these past few months. We couldn’t have done it without you. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts!!!
Love, TEAM DBR2
Team Devon, Becki, Reegan and Rayf
Adoption ~ The day has come!!!!!
01 Aug 2011 Leave a Comment
YAY!!!! Last monday was JULY 25th… our magic day!!! That was the LAST day the birth mom could change her mind and take Rayf back. I apologize for not writing sooner…. but as life goes… I caught a SERIOUS case of Pneumonia. I was out. So thank you for your patience.
We couldn’t be happier to have him join our team!!! We are now officially TEAM DBR2!!!! He is so sweet and precious. He is growing like crazy. He was a little behind at birth but seems to be catching up JUST fine. I’ll post pictures soon!
Thank you all for walking with us through this journey, and standing by us through thick and thin. We now have our 6 month wait for paper work. We have a 3 month and 6 month meeting with our home study organization. Then we have our final court meeting after the 6 months and Rayf becomes an OFFICIAL DEVRIES. This is where his legal name will change and Devon and I will be put on his birth certificate as his “biological” parents… hmmm… not like he won’t know we adopted him. haha…
We are SO thankful the “NERVOUS” wait time is done. We are REALLY excited to be COMPLETE with this whole process. While it’s been a HUGE learning experience, faith walk, and brought MANY challenges and joys… we are ready to have a stress free house for a while.
Thank you for hanging in there with us… for your comments, prayers and encouragement….
We’ll see you on the other side…
Blessings and love,
TEAM DBR2 (Devon, Becki, Reegan, and Rayf)
Adoption ~ the court date
19 Jul 2011 1 Comment
Well I’m SO thrilled to say we made it to the court date last Thursday. I even made it without pulling out all of my hair!!!
We found out the day before that we didn’t have to bring Rayf with us to court, which was such a HUGE relief for me. Thankfully my incredible friend Kerri was on her way into town to visit Rayf and the two other babies (of other friends) born within the same two week span So Rayf got to stay with Kerri for the day and got SUPER spoiled… it was really cute, and they are REALLY close now. I am so grateful to you Kerri… thank you friend.
We also found out the night before that Rayf’s birth dad was in jail. So on the list of stops for the lawyer was now including the jailhouse before the courthouse. That was quite the experience as well. All in all it went well. His birth father signed the papers to put Rayf up legally for adoption.
Driving into the town where Rayf would have been raised was simply horrifying. The segregation, the crime, the trouble I saw was terrible. It was like a bad movie. I was heartbroken and yet so excited to know that his life has the potential to be SOOOO different than this. All I could do at that moment was pray.
When we arrived at the courthouse we met with Rayf’s birth mom. It was awkward and uncomfortable. She asked about Rayf and I asked about her other kids and how she was feeling. She just kept saying she was fine. We had to sit through quite a few other cases before we were up. It was heart wrenching to see all kids who were in the system and who were falling through the cracks. One case was trying to decide whether a drug addicted abusive mother of a toddler and infant could have her kids back… my heart sank. There was so many sad cases just like that, I couldn’t help but think about Rayf and his future if he had stayed in his situation. I’m so thankful I have the chance to raise and love him… even if it’s just for a time.
The birth mom ended up signing the papers giving us the chance to adopt Rayf legally!!! We are OFFICIALLY in the 10 day wait period. The magic date is July 25th. That is the last day the birth mom can change her mind and take Rayf back. However on her way out of the court room she left the official paper she needed to sign to have him back.
We are SO thankful that day is done. We are SO grateful to have Rayf with us. He is absolutely precious and we are growing and bonding more with each passing day. Especially after the court date. It has become so much more REAL since then. I am anxiously awaiting July 25th!!!!
Thank you SOOO much from the bottom of our hearts for walking with us and supporting us!!!
We are so grateful for each of you.
Becki for the team…
Adoption ~ Court Date
12 Jul 2011 Leave a Comment
I can hardly believe we have been home for a week with Rayf. Our reunion with Reegan was absolutely amazing. We couldn’t ask for two more amazing kiddos. Reegan LOVES LOVES LOVES him and simply ADORES being a big sister. She calls him her baby, and asks EVERYONE… “do you like my baby?” it’s precious.
I love how maternal she is at only 4. He makes a sound and she’s at his side wanting to help him. If he cries she tries her best in her little voice to comfort him and says… “it’s ok baby Rayf, mommas coming!” I have fallen in love with her all over again watching her love him. I am sooo excited to one day watch her mother her own babies… she will be fantastic!
Rayf has had quite the week. He really struggled the first 4 days with gas, spitting up, tummy bubbles and of course the ever famous mixing up of nights and days. I did begin to fear we were inching towards colic (too early I know… but worry I did)… until I phoned my ever so smart friend.. who happens to be a doula and an EXPERT with infants! Talitha I am SOOOO grateful for all your wisdom. Thank you for learning all you’ve learned… it sure came in handy for me this week!!! SO after we switched bottles, formula and a few routines Rayf has been like a whole new baby!!! He’s even sleeping at NIGHT!!! He’s only been waking up at night to eat… HOLY MOLY I should have done this with Reegan! 
haha… another story.
This week has definitely had it’s ups and downs. On the way home from the hospital the birth mom texted me asking for another month of expenses. Of course our hearts sunk since we knew we were in the “wait” period where she can change her mind at any second. After we talked with the lawyers, we heeded their advice to agree to pay.. as we really don’t have a choice. Even though I feel like 1) I’m being black mailed and 2) I’m buying a baby, we realized we couldn’t let $ get in the way of our family. Once we agreed to it, she began to ask about the “surrender” papers which was very hopeful for us. LONG story short we found out that the county we are adopting him from has different rules than we thought. They make us all have a court date to sign the surrender papers. SO on July 14th we head back on the road for our court date… Rayf and all. We will meet the birth mother before the judge and hopefully she will sign him over to us. From that point on we have a 10 day wait period for her to change her mind.
When I first heard this new news… I freaked out a bit… I was so afraid things would change since she had time to think about it more… miss him more. She keeps texting asking about him, saying she’s having a hard time etc. I completely understand and yet I’m so worried. I keep reminding myself he’s never b and yet my heart doesn’t want to listen.
Since the weekend I’ve come to grips with the fact that the court date is happening when it happens… nothing I can do to change that. I also recognize the biggest reason for my massive freak out has been sleep deprivation. Any mother knows this feeling… I just had a momentary memory lapse.
We’ll keep you posted on how the court date goes… for now.. thank you so much for supporting us, loving us and walking with us through this. Your phone calls, emails, comments and notes mean the world to us. Thank you to all of you who have sent gifts for him and Reegan… your thoughtfulness is incredible. There is a place in my heart that keeps thinking this isn’t real.. or won’t stay real… so I shouldn’t get anything we need or accept presents… those are the moments when one of you shows up with a meal or mails something to prove that theory wrong. This is real. This is happening to our family. He is here. He is ours. He needs clothes that aren’t PINK. haha… I’m forever thankful for our friends here … you all are our family. Thank you.
Talk soon… becki
Adoption ~ Rayf Grant DeVries
03 Jul 2011 5 Comments
Rayf Grant DeVries
So Sat July 2nd we got a call from the birth mom – she had been admitted to the hospital! We packed really quickly and got in the car and headed down the highway. We had a two and a half hour drive. It seemed to take WAY longer than last time – probably cause we were anxious. But when we got here the birth mom was about half way through the labor. We talked with her then went to wait. We were given our own private room in a secluded section in the hospital… so cool. We waited there and then at 8:30 pm we got a call that she had given birth…. to a baby BOY!!!!! Rayf Grant DeVries. He weighs 7 pounds and is 19 inches long. The process had changed from her original wishes – which were that I was going to be able to be there for the birth and then she wouldn’t even meet the baby – but I had a feeling that might change so I didn’t allow myself to have my heart set on it, which I’m thankful for.
When I did get to go in and hold him I didn’t know what I was feeling. I felt nervous that I wasn’t going to connect, nervous that she was watching me to see if I was a good mom for him, just plain nervous! And within the hour I was there… all those feelings started to fade away… it was like tunnel vision. Just me and him. I found myself wanting to speak over him words like, “don’t cry mommy’s here,” or “mommy loves you sweet boy,” all kinds of things I said IMMEDIATELY to Reegan after she was born. Yet I caught myself in front of the birth mom. I wasn’t sure how she would take that. So I thought I better just say it in my mind. That was the beginning of our connection…
The nurses came into move Rayf and the birth mom into new rooms. The nurses took him to give him his first bath and feeding. Because it’s a holiday weekend and it was in the evening – there was no social worker on duty – so we couldn’t get guardianship papers signed last night. Therefore we weren’t allowed to be in the nursery with him – he could only come to OUR room AFTER (if the birth mom ok’d it.) SO we had to peek through a little window to see some of the firsts… which is ok. I’m just glad that’s over. I want to do OUR firsts at home together.
During those few hours I realized just how much I had already connected to him. It’s amazing. We are growing more and more with each passing hour. I never knew this was possible so quickly. I know there will be times I will question it… won’t feel it… have doubts etc. But I’m thankful for now. Our time together. Me and my sweet boy.
This morning we had him for nearly 5 hours – I woke up REALLY early.. not surprising. So he and I just got to snuggle together. The nurses did come in to take him to check his vitals and feed him. Then around 10 am the social worker came and we got all the guardianship papers signed and notarized. The birth mom wanted to speak with us and say good bye to Rayf. So we went to her room. She was so sweet. She just held him and cried. She told him she loved him. Then turned to us and asked us to take good care of him and asked if we would make sure he knew she loved him. As her tears rolled down her face I recalled the conversation we had with her when we first met her and again last night. She was so thankful we were helping her. So thankful he was a blessing to us. Cause if she had known she was pregnant she would have terminated the pregnancy. Now she realizes it was a blessing for our family. So she is very thankful. So am I!
We said our good byes and hugged and walked down the long hall to our room. She left shortly after that.
So… here we are. In a hospital room. Waiting. Dev is snuggling him and watching Back to the Future 3!!! So while Rayf is sleeping I thought I would update the blog for those who aren’t facebook. I’m excitingly waiting to FEED him for the first time. With all the paper work and desires of the birth mom I haven’t had a chance to do that yet. So I’m really looking forward to that soon.
Thank you from the bottom of our hearts for praying for us and supporting us through this journey. We have a few more hurdles to get through – I’ll update as we cross those… basically it’s a two week wait period… then it’s on the way to being PERMANENT and FINAL!!! I can’t wait.
We love you all…
love,
all of us at TEAM DBR2
Adoption ~ the wild ride continues
29 Jun 2011 2 Comments
Well… June 27th has come and gone… as SO many due dates do. We continue to wait for this sweet baby to be born. We are MORE than excited. MORE than anxious. MORE than a little freaked out. I have to share this story simply because it LITERALLY explains a little of why our “ride” is SUCH a “wild ride.”
So yesterday I’m at our last summer swim meet. (for those of you who don’t know -when Reegan got so sick we had to get second jobs to help pay for all the medical bills… I happen to ONLY have two skills – Singing and Swimming – so I have the greatest second job EVER – coaching SWIM TEAM to a million kiddos) anyway… I was at our last swim meet when I received a text from our birth mom – who happens to text and call me often to make sure I still WANT this baby… OF COURSE I DO… are you kidding??? However THIS text was different … this text said, “Can you or Devon call me ASAP?” I stumbled to my phone to call her with the crowd in the background and when she answered I only heard tears. My heart sank. “Is everything ok?” I asked. She said, “no… I’m so worried you won’t take them if you know this…” “it’s ok.. just tell me,” as I prepared myself for some tragic news. “I have TWINS!!!!” “What?” I was stunned, excited, terrified, and SUPER confused. How do you NOT know your pregnant let alone with TWINS???!!!! But that’s a different story… From what the Dr. could tell and hear – they thought there was two heartbeats… so they sent her away until they could do an ultrasound TODAY… which they did and it’s just ONE baby. Talk about HIGH drama!!!!!! One minute we’re having ONE baby.. the next TWINS… the next ONE baby again. This is insane. A good insane.. but insane none the less.
So we are on target to be adding to our family VERY soon!!! While I struggle to FULLY get excited and invest… I struggle NOT to. Today Reegan and I went to the store and got a few bottles, white onsies, and two baby toys. She REALLY wanted to give the baby a rattle. So we got one. Then she picked out another car seat toy – and I just nearly teared up. She picked the EXACT same toy for this baby that she had and LOVED as an infant… I guess they really never “grow out” of their toys. She’s so excited to give it to the baby, meet the baby and be a BIG sister. She will be amazing… she already is.
We’ve talked a LOT about names…again this is a hard one for me… giving this little one a name makes it that much more real. But Reegan has chosen a girl name and we love it. Her boy name was “boy” so we are opting for a different name on that one. We’ll let you know the name as SOON as we know who this little one is!!!!
Thank you for walking with us through this.. your comments, emails and phone calls mean the world to us. We are SO thankful to have you by our sides!!!
Love,
B for the team
Adoption ~ what a wild ride
10 Jun 2011 3 Comments
Wow… what a ride this is…
Last Thursday we got another call about another birth mom. We got details and began the process. The pressure is on… as she is due on June 27th!!!!!! yeah… I know. We hadn’t even started our “profile” to begin another process – as we were still healing from the last go round. So Friday I spoke to her – and sent her our family profile overnight (which we put together that morning – SUPER early before work .) She contacted us the following Monday saying she would like to move forward. We received her health and social history on Tuesday – all good and set up a “meet time.” Fast forward to today… Thursday… we got up super early and drove 2 hours to where she lives and took her to breakfast. She is really sweet. Older than the typical age – a mother of two already and has placed 2 others in adoptive families. As we sat around the breakfast table and just talked. She asked us lots of questions and we asked her as well. We asked why she was placing this baby up for adoption – we expressed our fears – our last experience. She looked at us with compassion and said, “there’s no way I’m changing my mind, I simply can’t take care of another baby.” Of course we know things change… and they still may… but it was such a seed of hope for us… we are so grateful.
The father is the same father as all of her children – and they both agree it’s best to place this baby up for adoption. So we are praying they follow through.
Her wish is that we come to the hospital as soon as she is in labor and begin taking care of the baby immediately. She doesn’t want any contact. So if you feel so led – please pray for her as I can only imagine all the feelings she is and will be having as this comes to be. For our sake I pray she follows through… but for her sake I pray there is peace in what she decides. Like I’ve said over and over… I have no idea what it would be like to give up one of my babies. I couldn’t do it. So how can I expect these women to. My prayer is the best happens for this baby.
As we drove the two hours home we just smiled at each other. The realization that a little one may be entering our home in a few short weeks is finally sinking in. We are reluctant to celebrate completely… as we have been so heartbroken in the past. But we in NO way want to miss this celebration. So we are torn…. yet the smiles on our faces would probably say otherwise.
So we are tying up our homestudy, all the paper work, fingerprinting, finances (HOLY MOLY), details for the month… etc. I feel a crazy peace… so thank you for praying for me… I KNOW it MUST be that. There are so many things to finish and totally NOT enough time… but we know it will happen – we just have to trust. There’s nothing I can do in my own strength… I’ve tried that before… many times. It NEVER works.
thank you for your love and support of our family.
We’ll keep you posted!!!!
Love, becki for the team
